Just what are you getting into when you hire a writer? Who are these people?

I don’t know. That is, I can’t speak for all writers everywhere. Here’s what I can say about me:

1. Don’t be fooled by the fancy website. I didn’t design it. The words are mine, but it was actually put together by the lovely people at Spotted Monkey Marketing, a great partner.
2. I am not a magical, bottomless well of topic ideas. Yes, some days I too spend inordinate amounts of time staring at my computer screen with nothing but Facebook to keep my synapses firing.
3. From where I’m sitting, the stereotype that writers just want to be able to work in their pajamas is stone cold fact.
4. I don’t want to be in the office any more than you do. If you’re within 50 miles, can I interview you in person, please?
5. There is such a thing as too much coffee. You’ll know I’ve hit the danger zone when I begin an interview question eight different ways because I can’t stop editing myself. Sorry – I promise we’ll make it through.
6. I have ego enough to believe I can write anything until I’m proven wrong. If I’m wrong, no charge.
7. If I ask you to repeat something during a phone interview, it’s pretty safe to picture me waving my hands wildly, desperately willing my children to understand the instructions I’m mouthing: ASK YOUR MOTHER.
8. The ego thing also means I never enjoy being edited. But like going to the dentist, I appreciate the finished product … no matter how painful it is to get there sometimes.
9. I am writing this while watching TV. So sue me. My blog, my rules!
10. If I’m really interested in the topic I’m writing about, I’ll turn in quality copy by the deadline. If I’m not really into it personally … I’ll turn in quality copy by the deadline. You won’t know the difference.
11. Much of what I write is terrible and never sees the light of day. It’s like that old adage about sausage factories. You don’t want to know.
12. An interview is like meeting a stranger at a party. I always wonder whether we’ll click, whether I’ll really understand the person I’m talking to. I generally end up enjoying myself in either case.
13. I’m probably not very knowledgeable about your topic. Thankfully, I’ve gotten a lot of practice in learning how to write about topics I previously knew nothing about. Good enough?
14. Writing is fun! I confess I’m asking you to pay me to have fun. I hope you’re getting paid to have fun, too.
15. At the time of this writing (2015), I don’t yet do this full-time. This is a growing business, and to utilize my services is to be a part of that growth. I hope that’s appealing. If not, check back in ten years.